smilyy.....

TEPID

YESTERDAY is…

Tepid, she leaned over a hundred miles from redemption and vomited. It was a seal of approval, a ritual, the bastion made from bad-luck, and a beacon of residual, ultra-violent light. My face is made more ridiculous by the scratches, my pride rendered nonexistent. My pale face now transparent. It was the ether and nothing more.

Blessed was the pit in my stomach, the bite mark on my collarbone, it was bruised purple and beautiful and it hurt when I touched it. Glory overwhelmed the shame that followed like a detour heading fast toward The lake of fire. It was hell and It was inescapable. The manifestation of youth is old age and I am nothing special. I am not unique. Opaque. You are everybody else and everybody sees through you, boy. Are you perfectly content in the wake of your own complacency?
Quit being a pussy

The irritation never relents. It grows like a weed, malignant, in the back of my skull and envelops all my senses. What does a man do when he dedicates himself to something false and doesn’t realize it until it’s too late? Does he become the lie? Can he transcend his footing and save himself from the great fall? Who the fuck knows anymore. Not me.

AND THEN IT WAS GONE.

TODAY is…

Like that. From dedication to apathy, it went full circle. I feel something else, something isolated and unknown, something else growing within me. My tongue remains guilty, it rests at night a coward, fearful and ashamed of itself. Confidence is key and I’m locked in myself. I swallowed it with water. I got high.

The person that looks at me in the morning shares my flesh, my memories, and my secrets. He doesn’t know himself. He’s in love with the wrong people for the right reasons, something as honest as it is self-destructive. He’s silent as ever. He trips over his own shoelaces, once able to climb mountains, he stares up and is scared stiff by the thought of himself. Who the fuck are you, boy? Where are you going? It’s not something you can just write down, so it’s something you probably won’t ever do.

It was never going to happen in the first place. Come on, boy. Mind’s eye and perception made righteous, right? A man only correct in his shortcomings, only defeated by himself, there is nobody else in the world to blame.

It rests on me and I can’t fall asleep because of it.
Quit being a pussy already.